Just How Much Can Memories Hurt?
by ninjaturtlefinatic
Summary: Takes place after Ninjago:Decoded Jay struggles with his memories from Skybound, but maybe all he needs is a good memory to replace the bad ones.


**Hey ya'll!**

 **Do any of you remember Ninjago:Decoded? It came out a month or so before SoG. I don't think it's canon and I'm pretty sure it was just to refresh your brain of all the season before SoG, since there was a long wait period between Hands of Time and SoG. Anyway, when the ninja were fighting the Overlord's virus, it was fighting them with their memories and used Jay's memories of Skybound. But he didn't react (albeit it was probably because it wasn't important to the plot). I refuse to believe that after all he went through, that he could just not react at all to seeing it. But, like the crazed Jay fan girl I am, decided to write a pretty short one-shot about Jay's thoughts afterward.**

 **Another thing that bothered me was how the other ninja had no reaction to it (again probably because it wasn't important at the time) but I still think they would've been shocked to see Nya dying. It's confirmed that Jay and Nya never told the others about what happened. Remember in episode 82 I believe, when they went to the Comissioner and he mentioned a "Pirate Genie"? The others were confused and Jay and Nya looked at each other and had an adorable moment. And I believe Tommy Andreasen said in a tweet once that Jay never told the others because he wanted to forget. So I just head cannoned my own reason as to why the others didn't react.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy. This is my first fanfic so feel free to leave a review and/or constructive criticism.**

 **I do not own Ninjago. All rights belong to LEGO and the creators.**

 **Takes place after Ninjago:Decoded**

* * *

Jay was sitting outside the Temple of Airjitzu looking over New Ninjago City. It had been a couple of hours since the whole Ninjigma fiasco and Zane had just finished restoring all his data. Nya had reassured them all that any trace of the Overlord's virus was gone. While Jay was thankful they were able to stop it from corrupting Zane, he really wished he had never been there.

They had to fight the virus with their memories but when it fought back, it used all of their bad memories against them. Including Jay's memories of Nadakhan and Nya dying. Jay was worried that the others had seen the images too but Nya had said that he was the only one who could see them, while the others were seeing their own worst memories.

After time reset and they kissed on the rooftop almost 2 years ago, Jay and Nya started dating again. While the others apparently had no recollection of what happened, they had questions about why they had so suddenly made up, both Jay and Nya had simple brushed it off, saying they had talked earlier and settled things. When they returned to the bounty, Jay and Nya had agreed not to tell the others about everything that had happened in the alternate timeline. For one: so they could spare the details of Nya dying, and two: Jay just wanted to forget it all.

Nya, of course, understood. She knew Jay had been through a lot. Though Jay glossed over most of what happened while he was a prisoner on Nadakhan's ship, when Nya had looked over his wounds at the lighthouse, she could tell it was bad. Nya practically had to force him to sit down and let her check him over. Jay had refused any medical attention when they got back to Ninjago after escaping Nadakhan, insisting he was fine, though he clearly wasn't.

He found out he was adopted. The people who raised him all his life, weren't actually his birth parents.

And on top of all that, he watched all his friends and the love of his life die in front of him.

Nya didn't blame him for wanting to forget everything. He never told her about wanting to forget, he just said he didn't want to have to tell the others about her dying. But Nya could tell he was struggling.

The sad expression he wore for several days after the ordeal, though he tried to cover it up with a joke and a smile. The way he looked at her like she was gonna disappear, the times he had come to her in the middle of the night because of nightmares. And still today she would often find him in the kitchen late at night crying.

He had thought everything was getting better. Until today. When he saw those memories and the events played over and over again in his mind like a DVD player stuck on replay.

Not to mention Wu going missing hadn't helped anything.

"Mind if I join you?" Jay heard the voice of his girlfriend behind him. He turned around and gave her a small smile and nodded. They sat next to each other in silence for a few moments before Nya spoke up.

"Are you ok? You've been kinda quiet since we got come back from The Samurai X cave."

"Of course I'm ok. Why wouldn't I be?" Jay said with an obviously fake smile.

"Jay, you don't have to lie to me. You know you don't have to pretend. Whatever it is, I'm here for you." Nya told Jay as she grabbed his hand to hold.

Jay sighed. "While we were in Zane's head and the virus was fighting us with our memories, you know it used my memory of you dying, and..." Jay paused to take a deep breath, trying not to cry.

"I can't stand seeing that, Nya. It reminded me of how close I was to losing you. I DID lose you for a while. And I can't bear going through that again. I just want to forget it all. Don't get me wrong, I am SO happy we are together again. And I love you so much, but those few weeks were the worst of my entire life. I envy the guys, that they don't have to have that image of you dying flash in their minds every time they would think about it. It's been almost two years, Nya. Two years. And I just can't forget it. No matter how hard I try to forget or how far I try to push that memory away, I just can't. And the nightmares. They won't go away and it's the same thing over and over and over again."

By now a few tears had escaped Jay's eyes. Nya pulled him into a hug and held him while he cried and vented to her. "I don't want to sound selfish, but I feel like I am when I say I want to forget. Because it's not about me. The reason we decided not to tell the guys was so they wouldn't have to know about you dying. I mean it would've been way worse for Kai.." Nya didn't let him finish.

"Now hold on. Why would you think that wanting to forget would make you selfish. Jay, you went through literal hell. I don't blame you for wanting to forget. There are times when I want to forget it all."

Nya paused and placed her hand on her chest.

"It's like the burning sensation in my chest from the venom is still there. I can feel it sometimes. But if we've learned anything today, it's that we can't push the memories away. Even though we obviously aren't nindroids and we can't get viruses, it can do damage if we lock them away. It did happen, we have to accept that. If I'm being honest, I am glad it happened. Because if it hadn't, then you and I wouldn't be here, together right now. But we don't have to dwell on the past. We can focus on the now. We're together and we're both safe, that's what matters. I'm not going anywhere, Jay. You're not gonna loose me."

"Your right. As usual." He said with a laugh. "I just can't imagine my life without you."

"I promise I won't leave you. And we'll get through this together. Just like we always do." Nya smiled and took Jay's hands in hers and they kissed.

They kissed for what seemed like forever before they pulled away. They sat there and looked over the city for a while until Jay spoke up.

"Thank you, Nya. For everything. You always know how to make me feel better. And your right, even though that past is filled with bad memories, I can remember all the good that came out of it and focus on where we are now and how far we've come."Jay said standing up with a smile, giving her his hand.

"We have come a long way, haven't we." Nya chuckled as she took his hand. "Let's go see if dinner's ready." They walked back to the temple hand in hand.

"I love you, Nya."

"I love you too, Jay." Nya said as she kissed his cheek. They walked inside and sat at the table with everyone for dinner, enjoying nice evening of small talk and laughter.

And Jay believed, for the first time since it all happened, that everything was gonna be okay.


End file.
